Monday 3/23/20 — Quarantine Day Nine

Dear Coco,

The update is surreal: Californians have been placed under a “shelter-in-place” mandate . Most of us are taking it very seriously and following the rules as laid out by Governor Newsom: stay home! If you leave your home it should be within your neighborhood, and only for the essentials—supplies or a healthy, solitary exercise. Of course, there are those who insist this is all rubbish, that COVID-19, as coronavirus is now being referred to, is a hoax created by Democrats to bring Donald Trump down. Many are adamant that they will not stop “living their lives” just because the “flu” is going around. The problem is, by continuing to “live their lives,” they’re prolonging the shelter-in-place period for all of us.

There is tension.

Everyone seems to be doing the best they can, but some are doing better than others.

Some have more money, less financial stress.

Some are working from home, while others are completely out of work.

Some are in perfect health, while others worry terribly about their odds at beating a potentially fatal virus.

Some are trying to carry on as closely as they can with their old lives, at home as they did out in the world.

The hustlers are getting creative. Yoga teachers are live-streaming classes from their living-rooms. TV personalities are creating content and posting to Facebook and YouTube. “Everything is still happening!” they cry out.

But I know the truth. I think we all do. Nothing will be the same once this passes.

When I get very quiet, very still, I can feel the truth in my bones: this is a reset. Mother Nature is putting humanity on a time out, to think about what we’ve done to the planet, to the economy, to the American Dream, to each other, to ourselves. There is a reckoning in the making, and not a single one of us will be able to squeeze past this experience unchanged.

Last week was difficult. I was being tossed around in the waves as my emotions ebbed and flowed. I know myself well enough to know that my tears are not cried out. Still, if this is the end of the world, I certainly will not be found crying in a corner of my bedroom in my final hour. The same goes if this is the beginning of a new world. I want to emerge from this, singing.

Who am I? Who do I want to be?

I am a creator. I am an artist. I am a writer, singer, poet, dancer, baker, hostess, lover, friend. And thus, will I be found when this has passed. This is the first time in my adult life that I haven't had a job. And I can't be made to feel guilty about it, because no one has a job. And I can’t be made to feel guilty for staying home, because it’s an order from the Governor. I am being offered this once in a lifetime opportunity to stay home and CREATE. This is what I must do. Write. Write letters. Write songs. Write stories. Write lists. Write ideas. Write recipes. Write the truth. Write how it feels. Make it beautiful. Lead by example. Show the beauty of this moment. Reveal the possibilities.

In this way, in my own way, I will help myself and others through this.

Until the next revelation,

J