Put Your Phone Down For This

#goals

"I want to be the kind of woman who can make him put his phone down."

That's what I was thinking the first time I listened to Erykah Badu's new song, "Phone Down." 

“I can make you put your phone down
As we cruise through the city
I can make you put your phone down
You ain’t gonna text no one when you wit me
I can make you put your phone down”

It's a pretty bold claim to make, these days--that you have the power to draw someone's attention away from their phone for any amount of time. But look at the QUEEN demanding attention at the Soul Train Awards:

cool girl

Do you remember that super cool girl in school?

Not the popular one--but the truly cool one.

The one who never seemed to go through the awkward phase everyone else had to suffer through in Junior High? 

The one who was able to pull off weird-ass outfits that you (or your mom) never would have thought of, and make them look so right?

The one who said whatever the hell she felt like saying, and somehow people didn't get pissed off--more likely they'd be like, "yeah, totally... I was thinking the same thing!"?

The one who was surprisingly comfortable to hang out with, even though she was way out of your league in the coolness department? (You secretly still genuinely loved Jewel and Sarah McLachlan.)

Still, she was down to hang out with you, and you were appreciative, because she inspired you, and there was always the possibility that some of her unreal magic would rub off on you.

Erykah Badu is that cool girl for me, and she has been ever since I first heard her in 1997, when "On & On" came on in a hair salon, while I waited for my mom to get her hair done.

It was soooo good.

It was completely different from anything else I was listening to at the time, thank god. It was sexy and earthy and classy and very cool. I wanted desperately to know who it was, but it was way before the days of Google and Shazam, and I was a self-conscious teenager. So I was grateful when another lady in the salon asked the owner who the song was by.

Erykah Badu.

When I got home that night, I scanned over the BMG Music Club catalogue (yes, that scam), and there it was: Baduizm. I ordered the CD for 10 cents.

Almost 20 years later, that album is still one of my go-to resources for inspiration, motivation, and life.

just like a woman

And now, this "Phone Down" power ballad.

I mean, I can't be the only one who thinks it's totally powerful, right? To be able to maintain a sense of power, groundedness, and entitlement in an increasingly tunnel-visioned culture. To stand there and say:

"You're going to pay attention to me when we're together."

And isn't that just like Erykah, my cool friend? 

She continues to teach me how to stand up for myself,

to embrace my feminine power,

to take no shit,

to follow my heart,

and live my own damn life.