The Good Men

I didn’t plan on marriage.

Some girls have wedding dress dreams.

I had dreams of freedom and independence.

Coming from a long line of women who didn’t have a choice, I was determined to protect mine at all costs.

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I planned to live alone.

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From a very young age I steeled myself against the idea of ever giving my power to a man.

That’s what I thought marriage between a man and a woman was.

So I was hard around guys, and I did my best to be smarter, faster, and tougher than any of them.

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That’s how he met me.

He was so sincere and open hearted, and I was an island without a bridge.

It took years of friendship before I trusted him enough to call him my boyfriend, and 11 more for me to say “I do.”

On the day we married, I felt no fear.

I felt no need to protect any part of myself from him.

I knew I could trust him to protect my personal power as he would his own.

That’s what good love can do.

Brave love.

Love that has nothing to prove or to gain.

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I’m writing this now because it has been a rough week.

It’s hard not to feel powerless when the President of the United States publicly mocks the testimony of a sexual assault survivor.

It’s the kind of stuff that makes me want to burn the world down.

But.

There are good men.

There are men who can be trusted with your heart.

There are men who don’t need to assert their power over someone else in order to prove they are powerful.

There are men who don’t need to strip someone else of their strength in order to feel strong.

There are men who stand in awe of a courageous woman.

There are men who want to listen to and learn from others.

There are men who are deeply offended by the assumption that “boys will be boys.”

There are men who will not laugh at your pain.

There are men rising, all over the country, to stand with us and fight beside us.

We’re in this together, and I’m proud to take a good man by the hand and go set this shit on fire with him.