Mercury Retrograde | Lessons in Listening

Another cycle of Mercury Retrograde comes to an end...

...and I can breathe again.

Mercury went direct on Sunday, and it feels as though an energetic ball-and-chain has been released from my life. In the last few weeks, I've felt murky, uninspired, trapped.

Like standing water.

That's the thing about Mercury Retrograde--forward motion comes grinding to a halt. The gears start sticking, and the wheels wobble off. And despite any and all of your plans, you're forced to make a pit-stop.

In the best of times, you use your pit-stop as a time to reflect, re-evaluate, and make necessary repairs. This puts you in even better shape once you get back on the road.

In the worst of times, however, you get pissy, try to ignore that the wheels have wobbled off as you keep pushing ahead, and end up in some deep mud.

This bout with Mercury Retrograde looked and felt a lot like the worse-case-scenario for me.

Despite my total exhaustion, I'd make myself go for a run, and then be angry with myself that I couldn't make it my usual distance. (This didn't feel good).

Despite my lack of focus or clarity, I'd make myself sit down to hammer out some goals for the New Year, and then be frustrated with myself that I couldn't think of ONE positive ambition to claim in 2017. (This didn't feel good).

Despite my intuitive knowing that my heart needed some sacred alone time, I'd push myself out of the house to make every holiday event and gathering, and then be annoyed with myself that I couldn't be more of a life-of-the-party. (This didn't feel good).

Lessons in Listening

So, I did a lot of not feeling good. But I learned:

To listen. To let things flow as necessary. To be gentler with myself, and trust that my body will do the best it can, without me hardening against it. To believe that the whisperings of my heart are more worthy of following than any to-do list. 

To let Mercury Retrograde work it's pit-stop magic, and make space in my life for re-evalutation, whether I want it or not.

Moving Right Along

On Sunday, everything felt different.

Nathan and I woke up while the morning was still black, and went to the harbor to watch the sunrise. The sky slowly cracked open, in a magnificent way--it was all neon technicolor. The air was crisp and fresh, and the water stretched out ahead of us, mirroring everything as it unfolded in the sky.

And things felt possible again.